Comments on: Write a Sonnet (Creative Writing Exercise)

By: Courtney Cantrell

Courtney Cantrell — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 04:29:04 +0000

Okay, here’s my sonnet. I combined it with the strip poem exercise–which included stripping the visual form of the sonnet. But the iambic pentameter and the ending rhymes are there. Feedback = appreciated. ;o)

naked sonnet of arrogance and giggles

today i sketch in sun while two girls talk
of dogs and cats
of cars and how they run
or dont
my pencil shades
my mind does balk
at hearing expletives my lips would shun

they gossip
giggling loud with shoulders bare
the cling of halter tops to slender flesh
their noses pierced and tattoos ev rywhere
hair riot colors
legs in stocking mesh

i with my pencil scribe a potted tree
the kiss heaven hot upon my face
and theirs
is grace bestowed by blind decree i ask
and pride departs without a trace

i walk past one girl
smile
and so does she
a lovely day
sun tattoos laughs
and me

courtney weger cantrell
march 29 2010

By: Courtney Cantrell

Courtney Cantrell — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 04:38:03 +0000

@Aaron Pogue: You would. ;oD @Carlos Velez: I have, indeed, been so fortunate as to view Aaron Cullen--much to my extreme amusement. LOL Sorry, Aaron. ;oD

By: Carlos Velez

Carlos Velez — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 05:00:59 +0000

@Courtney Cantrell: *snicker* You just became my new favorite person. If you've never seen Aaron Cullen, remind me to show you that photo. *snicker* Ahh, this is great entertainment. Aaron & Justin, that movie is hilarious. Especially the vampire opera, though I'm sure you could whip out a fabulous one Aaron.

By: Aaron Pogue

Aaron Pogue — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 02:16:13 +0000

I've seen it once, Justin. But now that you mention it...I think I need to see it again. The bit at the end was incredible, too. Carlos, if you haven't seen it, check that one out. Even in abbreviated form, that's far better than anything I was working on.

By: Aaron Pogue

Aaron Pogue — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 02:05:13 +0000

They do sparkle sometimes, Courtney, but it's only in those first few seconds after getting splashed with holy water. After that, it's more what you'd call a "blaze."

By: Justin Matthews

Justin Matthews — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 01:00:11 +0000

@Aaron Pogue: Did you ever see Forgetting Sarah Marshall? There is a great vampire opera at the end. and dont be blaming me, you wrote the thing to begin with.

By: Courtney Cantrell

Courtney Cantrell — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 00:31:08 +0000

Hey Aaron! Do the vampires in your opera sparkle? Bahahahahahaha!

By: Aaron Pogue

Aaron Pogue — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:43:35 +0000

Carlos, I do have editing enabled on comments. Then again, I guess you're boosting my depressingly sparse comment count, so I probably shouldn't complain. But, no, the vampire opera thing was a middle school project. It definitely doesn't compare to the one you've imagined. If not for Justin's comments, I could have lived the rest of my life in peace without once remembering it. Also, I'm hoping I put this "Carlos was right" nonsense behind me, now that the Pre-Writing Challenge is done. Sure, every single aspect of that event secured your reputation as a wise and capable blogging coach, but I'm hoping it was just a fluke.

By: Carlos Velez

Carlos Velez — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:33:29 +0000

@Aaron Pogue: keep it up and I'll turn it into a drinking game.

By: Carlos Velez

Carlos Velez — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:31:55 +0000

@Aaron Pogue: oh yeah, and start paying attention to how often you say “Carlos was right.” It’s becoming your catch phrase